Gay issues July 28, 2008

Last week I watched a documentary about Gay Muslims in Youtube thanks to Muslimah Media Watch. The conclusion that I have after watching that is, there’s so much more that I need to learn and understand about human being.

The Gay Muslims that were interviewed, expressed their feeling of being dejected and depressed. The common fear that I realised among them, is the fear towards their own Muslim community. The fear that they might be beaten, boy-cotted, shamed, and many more not-so-nice things people would do to other people.

The series comprised of 6 clips, and when I am at about the 3rd clip, I thought of the word ‘understanding’. I think what people lack most in today’s world, Muslims and non-Muslims alike, is the understanding of other people. By the end of the 6th clip, it shows a confession of one of the Gay Muslim, saying that all he wants is to be understood.

Simple word, understanding. But rather difficult to practise. Not shallow, superficial understanding – but through and thorough understanding. Looking at the world, totally from that other person’s view. Feeling their pain, and their fear. Their sorrow and their joy. That is the thing that is lacking.

In my opinion, these people, gay Muslims. That’s their challenge in life. The Almighty has put on each and everyone of us our own set of challenges, it just so happen for them, it’s their sexuality. Similar with people faced with poverty, or disability, or emotional trauma – there are all challenges by the Almighty.

I think it’s best to understand more, judge less. After all, it’s not our duty to judge. It’s our duty to understand each other, to befriend each other.

I think people tend to apply one solution to all situation. In my opinion, if a Muslim is gay, and is trying to come to term with his issues – isn’t the best thing for us to do is to be an understanding brother or sister? Lend a helping hand, be a listener?

Teach me To Fish: Mind Matters July 25, 2008

Nurture great thoughts for you will never go higher that your thoughts” – Benjamin Disraeli

I found this quote in one of the book that I am reading. How so accurately true, and inspired a new piece under the Teach me To Fish series.

(well, I have always wanted to start an entry on ‘mind matters’, but I just could not find the right ’starting’)

Anyway, few people realised, that already stored in them – immense capability and talent. From the day people were born, they have over 100 skills imbedded in them. As they grow up, those talent slowly withered away because people do not nurture it. They do not practise it. By the time they were an adult, all that is left are mere 2 or 3 talent, and even that – were underutilised by most people!

I believe a lot of it came from poor mind conditionining. Mind conditioning means a continuous practise of internalising an idea or thought in an individual, either consciously or unconsciously. For example, if a boy told repeatedly from small that he is no good, (if he did not consciously change his thought/his environment), he is most likely to believe that he is no good as an adult.

Through the few years of my adult life, I see little effort was put on the ‘nurturing’ of the mind. Emphasise were always on the professional knowledge, geared towards commercialism – hence, the mind, the poor mind, was neglected.

As I talked about on my first entry in this series, successful people of all areas, think differently from average people. This, in my opinion, where most average people find confusing. They do not know what made the successful people so different from them. I think the answer lies within their inner workings of their mind.

‘What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve’ is this great quote from the book Think and Grow Rich.  What your mind believe you can do, your physical body, somehow or rather, in one way or another, will find a way to achieve it.

This is the thought of successful people. Now when I say successful, it does not mean just financially or in material. It comprises of all sorts of success, depending on each very own definition of success. People who are successful in finding happy relationships, it’s because they see in their mind that they are in a happy relationship and that they deserve to be happy. Relationship where there’s mutual respect, honesty, kind words, and unconditional love.

Now how do we train one’s mind to ‘conceive’ or to ’see’ what we want to achieve?

One way to do it is via visualisation. Now what does that mean? It means you see it in your minds eye, that you have already achieved what you want. You imagine it, clearly and precisely down the the very last details.

Most international atheletes used this technique to train. For example, a runner, they visualise in their minds eye already crossing that finishing line, feeling the wind on their face – clearly and precisely. And you know what, when these runners are monitored while visualising, their body responded the same way as in when they are actually running. Pulse quickened, adrenaline heightened – but all they did was just sitting on a chair wired to a machine, visualising winning a race! It shows, that human body does not know what is real or what is not. They will only respond to what the mind see.

That’s why when you were scared, you perspired, your breathing became shallow for your body is ready in fight or flight motion – but in reality, nothing happened. It’s just your cat, scratching the door. But because your mind, creates this scary image of burglar trying to get in the house, helped by the countless series of CSI you have been watching – you create a whole thriller episodes in your head and your body is responding exactly to it.

So, there’s one. Visualisation.

Another one, is affirmation. Again, what does that mean? It means stating the intention of you wanting to get/ or achieve something repeatedly.

The act of  ‘affirming’ trains our mind to focus on task to be done. Also, by stating it again, and again repeatedly we conditioned our mind to accept all that we want. When our mind locks it in, it is easier then for it to process ways, and hows for us to achieve it. It’s also because what we focus on expands.

I found this concept pretty similar with the teaching of my faith, the ‘niat’. ‘Niat’ is an intention to do something, Everyday before prayer, we state a ‘niat’. We do it 5 times a day, everyday. Now that’s a repeated intention, and it’s an affirmation. The way I look at it, our Creator, The Most Knowledgable of All, has prepared us the foundation of success. He has taught us through our prayer to Him, the concept of affirmation. The concept of if we do something, repeatedly, we will be able to gain the benefit. In prayer, the benefit is of course it nourish our spirituality. Thus, it really is up to us, to take the concept and apply it to other areas of our life to achieve our goals.

Well, I have more techinques and knowledge that I learn bit by bit from reading, and videos and seminars that I went to. These 2 techniques were the one that I first used when I first started to learn more about the mind when I was about 18. I can tell that these 2 techniques really works and I will tell you about my own experience using them in the next entry!

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Image from here.

Image 2 from here.

Copyright © Naziehah 2008

Gray sky July 25, 2008

the cold
on my skin
- my longing

the loneliness
so familliar
the pain
so comfortable

a strange land
i call my home

do i still have a place
underneath
your gray sky?

Research day July 24, 2008

I spent the whole day researching for several projects that I am doing now. I found many interesting findings and I can’t wait to see how the end products would look like.

I am giving myself 3 new challenges simultaneously. It may seems like too much to chew at times, but the way I look at it, if I manage to study 10 subjects during school before, why can’t I do it now . So let’s see how it goes. (berdoa banyak2 dalam hati)

2 are still of the 3 projects are still in a very early stage, the Project no. 1, which I am slowly introducing here, is this Affiliate programme. I used to be scared to death to anything that sounds remotely techie and immediately and conveniently scream ‘Yaaaang, help me!’ to my geeky husband to help. But this whole affiliate business is really getting to me. I knew I have a looong way to go, and it is making me obsessed. I have been reading and monitoring (to not much success yet), but I am determined to master online marketing. I already have an offline business, so it’s great to start learning about online marketing.

 Ok, off I go to my teach my class!

Melayu Lupa Diri dan Mentor Jutawan July 23, 2008

Baru selesai saya mengulang baca kisah Irfan Khairi di dalam e-book Mentor Jutawan. Saya kalau baca buku, suka ulang-ulang. Baru lebih faham. Dan bacaan kali kedua, ketiga dan seterusnya juga akan mendatangkan kefahaman, dan idea yang berlainan.

(masih terasa kekok menulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia, tapi teruja kerana buku Mentor Jutawan juga dalam Bahasa Malaysia!)

Saya memang orangnya suka berterus terang, cakap juga kurang berlapik (kadangkala hingga mengguris hati orang lain dan menyusahkan diri sendiri!). Ini kelemahan saya yang harus diperbaiki, namun, saya harus akui – beberapa tahun dahulu, saya tergolong daripada golongan Melayu Lupa Diri.

Apa maksudnya Melayu Lupa Diri tu? Ini takrifan saya sediri (mungkin berbeza dengan orang lain).

Saya tak suka dengan sikap kebanyakan orang Melayu. Saya segan untuk mengaitkan diri dengan orang Melayu kerana contoh-contoh yang saya lihat di sekitar saya tidak menyokong perkembangan diri saya. Oleh kerana itu, saya tidak baca buku bahasa Melayu, tidak tonton filem Melayu, kurang berkawan dengan orang Melayu, kurang bercakap bahasa Melayu, (hinggakan bila sekali-sekala bercakap bunyi macam bahasa Indonesia).

Saya masih rasa bangsa itu kurang relevan dan kurang penting pada dunia masa kini (tapi isu lain untuk masa lain).

Pokoknya, saya kurang keyakinan terhadap bangsa dan negara saya sendiri. Saya muda (dan masih muda ). Jadi, tiada contoh dewasa yang boleh saya kagumi (kecuali ibu bapa), jadi – saya lebih terpengaruh kepada mentor dan ikon daripada luar negara. Bill Gates, Tony Robbins, Richard Branson, Anita Roddick, Oprah Winfrey menjadi pujaan saya. Hinggalah saya berjumpa dengan - Irfan Khairi.

Beliau yang membuka mata saya kepada ikon kejayaan di Malaysia. Melalui penulisan, seminar dan rancangan radio beliau – saya menyedari banyak juga perkara yang bagus yang boleh dipelajari daripada orang Malaysia sendiri. Yang lebih relevan dan hampir kepada masyarakat serantau. Perlahan-lahan, saya ubah pandangan dan pendirian saya.

Kini, semua orang – Melayu, Bukan Melayu, Orang Putih, Orang Tidak Putih – bagi saya semuanya sama. Kini, bagi saya, yang membezakan sama ada individu itu saya boleh contohi, atau tidak ialah – ilmu, amalan, dan cita-citanya.

Saya senang mengaitkan diri saya dengan Irfan Khairi. Beliau mempunyai cara pemikiran dan pelaksanaan yang bagus dan sering dapat saya contohi. Orangnya simple dan tidak berlebih-lebih. Tapi kata-katanya bernas dan penuh berisi.

Antara yang membuat saya rasa tertarik dalam Mentor Jutawan ialah bila beliau menceritakan teori keperluan manusia Abraham Maslow. Saya juga mempelajari teori ini di universiti, hanya apabila tamat pengajian baru dapat saya hargai dan fahami apa maksud sebenar di sebalik teori ini.

Jadi sekiranya anda rasa bosan, sering tertekan, keluh kesah sepanjang hari – mungkin kerana anda tidak lagi memenuhi ’keperluan’ sebenar diri anda. Terutama bagi penduduk bandar, yang berpelajaran tinggi – keperluan asas yang bermula daripada physiological  (makanan, miniman, tempat tinggal), safety (kestabilan badan, pekerjaan, sumber) love/belonging (persahabatan, kekeluargaan, keperluan seksual), esteem ( keykinan diri, harga diri, pencapaian) - sudah anda penuhi. yang tinggal lagi ialah – self – actualisation.

Untuk mengetahui lebih lanjut tentang self-actualisation, dan cara-cara untuk membantu memenuhinya, pelbagai ilham dan tunjuk ajar dapat anda perolehi daripada Mentor Jutawan.

Anda tidak perlu bercita-cita untuk menjadi Jutawan untuk membacanya ( saya juga tidak bercita-cita untuk menjadi Jutawan, saya ingin lebih lagi ). Sekiranya anda baru ingin mencuba perniagaan secara sambilan, anda ingin mencuba membaca e-book Bahasa Malaysia, anda ingin mengetahui tentang apakah bendanya e-book itu? (ini juga e-book pertama yang saya beli, best! eheh) – semuanya dapat anda capai dengan Mentor Jutawan.

Jadi dapakan satu untuk anda. Sekali lagi, sekiranya anda mengenali saya (bagi rakan-rakan rapat dan keluarga), saya memang cerewet dalam membeli dan mempromosi. Saya tidak akan buka mulut sekiranya saya tidak rasa sesuatu produk/servis itu bagus. Saya juga tidak segan silu untuk berkata benar sekiranya sesuatu itu di bawah tahap memuaskan.

Bagi saya, Mentor Jutawan adalah cemerlang!

Life’s little challenges July 23, 2008

 

The challenge of living a (budding) entrepreneurial life, when you are a ‘young good person’ and were armed with a ‘good degree’ from a ‘good university’, (it’s the term they use, not me) in a country where there’s a massive talent leak is – you are constantly..what is the human resource term – head hunted?

On top of financial challenges, time-management, priority-management, family-business juggling issues and many more that one needs to face on daily basis (as a budding entrepreneur), this is another one little niggling issues that kept coming to me, in the past.

Big Z said I am not focused enough. I think he is right.

But these people, they are getting better at it too. Salaries offered are higher. With bonuses and what nots. Career prospects, this prospects that prospects. Aiyo. Pardon an (ambitious) woman if she is tempted!

But at the end of the day, there’s always something missing. A void that can’t be replaced no matter how high the floor they want to position me in. Something that not quite match up with the fire in my belly.

Ah..life’s little challenges. They never stop coming at you.

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Image from here.

New keyboard and Mentor Jutawan July 22, 2008

I am back with a new keyboard, and a new idea!

I have always been a reader and a fan of Irfan Khairi’s writing (blog, book), and when he came up with his latest new produc,  I am immensely attracted. Young, motivated, positive and a huge contributer to society via his teaching of online business and motivational talks, he is one of the person I am proud to promote.

So, as you can see right underneath the About Naziehah page, there’s a link to his Mentor Jutawan e-book. Do take a look and see whether you also share the same sentiment with me. Full-packed with brilliant ideas and insights from all the mentors, this is one e-book that will inspire new ideas and motivate you to no end!

Happy reading Mentor Jutawan!

Prob with the lappy July 18, 2008

Me lappy is acting crazy.

Can’t update much love.

Ta.

Life is an Open Secret – You, Me and We July 16, 2008

I just finished reading my copy of Life is an Open Secret – You, Me and We. And like a mad woman immediately rush to the laptop to blog about it while the experience is still fresh in my mind.

I am among a few earlier ones to read the book simply because I was there at the launch yesterday! (a different story for a different entry ).

I bought Sis Zabrina’s first book, Life is an Open Secret – Think About It a year ago.  The book changed my life in more ways than one. I eagerly wait for the second book.

Just imagine my excitement holding my very own, second book yesterday. As soon as I reach home after the book launch, I dove right in. Losing myself in her magical story-telling. Tugging my heart, gently persuading my mind, and replenishing my soul her stories did. Pages quickly turned, the husband from time to time coming to the bedroom to check on me exclaimed ‘How fast you read, it’s nearly half the book already!’, only to be met by ’shuushh’ from me.  

Different from her first book, her second book delved more into the everyday human connections. From story about loving your own family, how to deal with envy, smiling – she tells is so intriguingly, so passionately, so unpredictably – it is like being on a ride really, reading her stories.

Foreworded by Yvonne Ridley, she mentioned that Sis Zabrina’s style of writing is ‘an acquired taste’. Referring to it as ‘groovy introduction to Islam!’ and carries a mixture between Marry Poppins, Shirley Temple and Aesops Fables.

As for me personally, I found it some sort like Like Tim Burton’s movies, Marmite, sushi, dark chocolate or drinking Dr. Pepper’s experience  - it’ something a bit our of ordinary, but once you got the hang of it, it left you wanting more!. With this second book, she has proven that she has carved her own niche, her own style. Thus, she creates for herself her own league, her own market. Her very own Blue Ocean (those who is not into business reading, I am taking about Blue Ocean strategy).

I woke up today and immediately continued reading from where I left of from last night. I cried reading the last story, and eagerly turned the pages for more stories. I didn’t even realise that I am reading the last one! I couldn’t believe it’s the end of the book.

Like a great movie, a great show, or a great experience – you just want it to go on and on and on forever. That’s exactly how I feel.

However, I am soothed, because I know I can always read the second book again, and again, and again. And put it on my bedside table, with the Life is An Open Secret, the first book.

A book launch and a night class July 15, 2008

I love those days when I get to do many things and be at many places. Today is one of those days.

I helped a friend with her book launch today. It’s my first book launch event, so I was pretty excited. The event was held in Menara Kuala Lumpur. Also the first time there for me . The events started at 2 but I came a bit early. It was a great event, and I will dedicate a whole entry for it. (when I am less sleepy)

I just finished a belly dancing class. 3 lovely ladies came all the way from Bangsar for their first session. Since they are working, they have to come after work so we started at 9-ish finished at 10-ish. One Malaysian, one from Zimbabwe, and one a Colombian from Canada. . I always love an eclectic bunch of students and this is one of the best mix ever! I had a great time teaching and getting to know them and I hope they had a great time too .

So I am quite sleepy now. But mind doesn’t want to rest yet. So how?