Trendy Thursday: Red and Yellow Butterfly
I have been seeing great stylings of jacket, cardigan and all sorts of outer wearing with maxi dress lately. I have this in my drafts for quite some time. I would like it if the jacket is an open one to show the beautiful yellow belt on the maxi. But I like the colour of this jacket so, yeah as usual – colour won! 
Oh before you go, see how I modestified Beyonce’s Red Carpet look here!
I have a lot of things I want to write. You know, sometimes I saw these posts about things that struck a chord in my heart and I want to write something about it. But somehow, I didn’t. Because I have lost that rawness. That pain. That anger. And somehow when I wrote about it – it turns out very bland. Me no likey.
What happened then? I wrote about what I read, and what I learnt, and what I think . And because what I read, what I learnt, what I think is mostly along the lines of motivational/self-help/entrepreneurship/business stuff – that’s what I wrote about.
I am slowly losing the emotional me and becoming this logical rationalising with a hint of self-help guru tendency me.
I kinda like where I am going, you know. Being this logical rationalising person is more productive for sure. I am also much calmer now. Which is good for the heart, and the skin too. I haven’t had any skin infection/allergies for so long. Which is great for a person who used to flare up like crazy when in contact with even one speck of dust.
But like I mention, I am losing my ‘flava’.
Ok here’s a a few topics that I wanted to write about but somehow didn’t manage to because well, I couldn’t find my ‘flava’. (what is this?)
1. The time I was denied job after being offered a position because I was wearing a hijab. Twice that happened to me. In Malaysia. The first time it happened it threw me into such financial chaos as I have no means of income. At all. The second time it happened, I was like. What? Not again..
It’s a long story, really. I just need to summon the past angst to make it more colourful.
2. My thought on homosexuality. And gender identity disorder. Oh such angst I had about it. Now it was like..’ehh..’
3. Why we should not waste water and how hard ‘Indah Water’ people worked to make our water clean.
4. My guilt that Mika my pet cat has infection. Am I a bad mummy..:(
5. My thought of the overly-patriarchal Islamic authority in Malaysia. Oohh now this is a huuuge one.
6. Why I keep putting on back the weight that I lose? Yeah. I am a chubby penguin again.
7. My thought about Islamic art and art in Islam. (I don’t know whether that is the same or not)
8. The challenge of finding oneself. And staying true to it.
9. Also, did anybody else think Justin Long is attractive? He’s quite short for my liking. Another minus – he is clean shaven. But his voice is just so hard to resist!
Ok so not all my thoughts or stories are serious or can be filled with angst. But you get what I mean right?
I love this woman. To death.
Oh those who doesn’t know her, she’s Sophie Kinsella.
I am re-reading The Undomestic Goddess and was reminded of what a brilliant writer and storyteller she is. And I know this is stating the obvious – but she is SO FUNNY.
If there’s one thing I am really not, is Funny. In fact, both of me and Big Z is one of the most non-funny couple with the lowest taste in all things funny. Sometimes, both of us laughed at our own jokes, not because it’s funny – but because it’s so BAD. But like Phoebe said to Monica and Chandler in FRIENDS – at least we made each other laugh. 
My siblings have had years of experience listening to my ‘jokes’ and pretending to laugh. Half-heartedly. Again, most of the time they were laughing at my feeble attempts at being funny.
And sometimes, when one of my many my attempts succeed, and one poor soul who’s taste in jokes is as mild as me complimented me by saying ‘You are so funny’, it feels like the best compliment ever. It’s like a singing to my ear. It’s so beautiful and my spirit soared so high.
But I don’t get that a lot.
But, I laughed at almost anything. True story. My ‘mama’ and ‘ayoh’ loves telling me the story of how when I was a baby, to keep me occupied, they will hang a red dress (my own baby dress) above my crib and I will laughed at it for hours. Sometimes they felt so sorry for me they removed it for awhile so that I can have a breather. But yeah, I will always laughed. At my own red coloured baby dress. I think my low standard of funny started in the crib.
Oh well, you can see more of my ‘funny’ in my Kooky Kolumn.
It’s funny that I have a ‘personal’ blog, but I have run out ‘personal’ things to share here.
It’s not like I do not have anything going on in my personal life. I just don’t know how to write about them anymore.
I am much more able or comfortable writing about ideas, or what I read, or what I learnt rather than well, about me.
Maybe I have changed. So pardon me if all you ever read about me here are hints and clues and endless directionless entry that nobody understands – as truly, I do want to write more ehem, ‘personal’ stuff. I just well, maybe forgotten how to do that. And just having only realised that some of my old friends (still) do keep in touch with my progress through this blog – maybe I should give them a bit more ‘meat’. eheh.
Ah well, let’s see how it goes
Trendy Thursday: Cara loves Crochet
Crochet adds a great texture to your wardrobe. Just make sure that you go for a rather fresh colour and style to avoid looking like a sick grandmother!
As usual, clever accessorising also will also help to bring something fun and interesting in this crochet look. Have fun! 
I just read a statement from a student of my student that echoed my very thought about the dance!
Awhhhh..this really is an ‘awwwh’ moment for me.
Yesterday, my first teacher that I trained has finally started teaching. And having students of her own. (another awhhh). I now have second generation of students. (made me feel kinda old) But oh I am just so grateful!
I have always approached this dance rather differently. Rather than approaching it from performance point of view, I always approach it from self-enjoyment, self-learning, and self-exploration point of view. I am all about ‘free-style’ and less ‘1,2,3,4′. I am all about working with your body, listening to the music, challenging yourself and building your own style and interpretation of the music. And by doing that, you will experience something so beautiful that only comes from truly being yourself. And to be in the moment.
I am glad that now the student of my student is also talking about the same thing!
There are so many good things that I love about this dance that I am sure I have repeated endlessly like some old broken records, so I am not going to do this again. I am just going to share my elatedness of the fact that I have managed to create a job opportunity for one women who really wants it, doing what she really likes too! Alhamdulillah. I am so grateful and so happy and I just wish this feeling can go on and on! 
I remembered being so out of sorts when I have to go for interviews. I was never very comfortable with the idea of me asking for jobs, when I knew all I ever want is to create jobs for people. I don’t know why I have this feeling though. But for as long as I can remember, I always imagined myself creating jobs. Creating an opportunity for other people to earn a living. I don’t know why. But all I know is, if I managed to do that, it is going to make me happy. And true, it did, it did made me very very happy, alhamdulillah!
I am really grateful that I have managed to derive this much pleasure and satisfaction in my work. I really am grateful. I don’t know what I did to deserve this and all this are nothing but the Grace and Kindness bestowed upon me by my God.
Now I am able to appreciate all those years of hardwork and frustration, working on something I found meaningless in a better light. It made me able to appreciate this stage of my life better. Maybe because all those endurance that I did, I am able to experience this in a higher level of appreciation. O God, I apologise for being so ungrateful before, indeed, everything that happens to us, happened for a reason.
If we didn’t experience pain, how do we know what pleasure is. If we don’t experience ugliness, how do we know what beauty is. If we don’t experience failure, how de we know what success feels like.
I know I have a looong looong way to go and I am so very eager to get on the road!
But for today, I am so very grateful. Alhamdulillah.
To know more about what I am talking about here, please visit Elwarda Dance
Trading Tuesday: Leverage your business
When I first started being a self-employed person, I learnt the concept of leverage. I knew how important it was to build a leverage for myself, since self-employent has numbers of limitation for expansion. In my case, since I am the only one who can teach the dance – therefore the number of income I can make is limited to the number of classes and women I can teach.
For the longest time, I am finding a way to find a leverage for myself.
Until early this year that I decided I need to teach new teachers for my leveraging strategy. By teaching new teachers, I can reach more women, and by that, even without me teaching them directly, I will still be able to expand my classes. One of the beauty of this startegy is, I am also creating job opportunities for other women.
Alhamdulillah, the first class that was taught by my teacher that I trained happened today. I am so happy to see this person grows in leaps and bounds from just a mere student to a confident and resourceful teacher.
I am going to keep on working and strategising on building a few ways to leverage myself and my business. What about you?
For more information on Elwarda Dance Teacher Training Programme please visit Elwarda Dance.
© Copyright Naziehah June 2009
Motivational Monday: To err is human, to forgive divine
As long as we are human, we will make mistakes. Intentionally, unintentionally – our human frailties guranteed us that at some point in our life or another, we will make mistakes. Therefore, the only right thing for us to do when we were wronged – is to forgive our wrongdoers.
Even when the wrongdoer – is our own self. We tend to do this don’t we? We do not forgive ourselves.
We still hold on to our past mistakes. We clutched the guilt so tight in our chest. We can’t let go. We keep blaming ourselves. We keep beating ourselves up.
After a while, we became a very bitter person.
Remember, we are just human. Consequently, because of our humanness – all of us will make mistakes. Learn to forgive ourselves. Learn to forgive completely.
Most importantly, learn to turn to the Most Merciful. May we will be given ability to forgive ourselves – Insha-Allah.
I am very excited. I am very grateful. I am feeling all sorts of emotions that only a woman with complex and wide range of emotions can felt – happiness, giddiness, nervousness, a bit of franticness, a bit of thrill, another dose of heartfelt gratitude again.
I just want to remember this feeling
I can’t wait to get started. I have wanted to do this for so long. I have tried every way, I have approached everything, but I guess all things will happen in due time. And things will only happen when it is meant to happen.
I am already eagerly planning. I will buy myself a notebook of some sort. A journal to wrote all my thought, my ideas, my vision. Ooh, it’s gonna be so exciting! Perhaps I will rush to MPH after my class today to buy those notebook.
Big Z wanted me to take this time to relax. To do nothing for once. To not be all scatterbrained and always rushing here and there. To just be. (zen innit?)
I am sooo excited. BIG FAT EXCITEMENT. excitedexcitedexcitedexcited. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Ok now I have get it out of my system
Festive Friday: Smile
Hadith:
Abdullah ibn Haarith, radi Allahu ‘anhu, said, “I have never
seen any one who smiled more then Allah’s Messenger.” Sal Allahu
alayhi wa sallam.
What a beautiful hadith! Let us all smile more too!
